I hardly know where to start. In fact, I've tried several times to start writing again, but always "chicken out". I confess that I have a wee bit of a problem. I hate to make mistakes and always want everything to be perfect. I had a hard time in school turning in work that was less than perfect and it caused a great deal of stress and anxiety. My grades reflected my imperfections and it was a hard fact to face. I am not clever. I don't write well. My thoughts are unorganized. And I'm very boring. That said, I am going to forget trying to write about my journey in genealogy (which has almost come to a standstill) and focus on things that touch my heart. I want to express more gratitude for my blessings and things that bring me joy.
I don't want to just make a gratitude list. That is too general. My whole life has been too general. I don't notice detail or specifics. It is hard for me to see beyond the surface of anything. Memorizing facts and information was easy for me. I could easily answer multiple choice questions and fill-in-the-blank, but froze on the essay questions. Don't ask me thought provoking questions. That requires too much brain activity. That's painful. It is time...way beyond time... to start noticing what is beyond the surface.
Now my blog is just going to be me trying to express what I see and feel and try to start seeing what I have missed all these years. And I will start with being able to see. I had an eye exam on Monday. It is the first one in years and nothing has been in focus. (Here is a good place to wax philosophical). It so happens that both my distance and close vision need a big adjustment. New glasses are on order and will be here this month. I so look forward to being able to see clearly again. The good news to me is that my eyes are healthy. I work for a lady that has macular degeneration and is unable to do just about anything. Noticing what life is like for her now has helped me more than ever to appreciate the gift of sight. I love that my eyes can see. They are marvelous organs.
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Boring Update
HI'm feeling pressured to update my blog. No one is pressuring me, but since I began this blog I feel a sense of responsibility for keeping it going...even when I don't feel like I have anything to say.
But the first two weeks of this month were great. I had a visit from Jari and the girls as well as Daniel and his family. Jari flew into Boise on the 2nd with Charlotte and Hazel. Daniel and Jessica drove to Boise with William and Weston and got here on the 7th. I loved having them all here and the house felt so empty when they were all gone. How I wish all my family lived closer so I could see them all more often. Financial security will never be part of my life and I won't have the ability to go see my family when they are scattered all across the country, but it is a tremendous comfort to know that they all have strong testimonies of the gospel. I wouldn't trade that for anything.
Sunday, Shannon Nickolas (YW president) asked if I would teach a class on family history or some such thing. I will be gone the week she wanted me to do it so we changed the date for the following week. It will be August 14th. Shannon knew I went to the Roots Magic Convention and thought I could give the girls some tips or something. I need to find out exactly what she wants me to teach. I was excited about her asking me to teach the class because I have really slacked in my efforts to do anything concerning genealogy. This will, hopefully, get me started again. Yesterday I was looking for dad's birth certificate. Lorrie wants to borrow it and I can't find it. I should have filed it as soon as I got home with it. The thought of doing that pricked my mind a few times, but I ignored it and now I can't find it when I want it. ALWAYS heed promptings that come to mind! I seriously need to organize what I've done and what needs to be done. And, I should start to go through the writings that we found from Grandma Mildred. Help. I need my kids nearby so they can help me. I feel overwhelmed. Concentrate, Diane. One bite at a time.
But the first two weeks of this month were great. I had a visit from Jari and the girls as well as Daniel and his family. Jari flew into Boise on the 2nd with Charlotte and Hazel. Daniel and Jessica drove to Boise with William and Weston and got here on the 7th. I loved having them all here and the house felt so empty when they were all gone. How I wish all my family lived closer so I could see them all more often. Financial security will never be part of my life and I won't have the ability to go see my family when they are scattered all across the country, but it is a tremendous comfort to know that they all have strong testimonies of the gospel. I wouldn't trade that for anything.
Sunday, Shannon Nickolas (YW president) asked if I would teach a class on family history or some such thing. I will be gone the week she wanted me to do it so we changed the date for the following week. It will be August 14th. Shannon knew I went to the Roots Magic Convention and thought I could give the girls some tips or something. I need to find out exactly what she wants me to teach. I was excited about her asking me to teach the class because I have really slacked in my efforts to do anything concerning genealogy. This will, hopefully, get me started again. Yesterday I was looking for dad's birth certificate. Lorrie wants to borrow it and I can't find it. I should have filed it as soon as I got home with it. The thought of doing that pricked my mind a few times, but I ignored it and now I can't find it when I want it. ALWAYS heed promptings that come to mind! I seriously need to organize what I've done and what needs to be done. And, I should start to go through the writings that we found from Grandma Mildred. Help. I need my kids nearby so they can help me. I feel overwhelmed. Concentrate, Diane. One bite at a time.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Stopping for Wisdom Teeth
Writing a blog is tedious. I much prefer to write in a journal. Guess I'm just old school. I've read blogs that other people have posted and they are fun to read. I don't have the talent for writing enjoyable reading material.
Sheighla has finally got all of her wisdom teeth removed. Greg Davis, in his never-ending kindness, said he would do it for us. He did it to help us in our financial situation. He knows our needs. It didn't turn out as he expected and the first trip was a ten-and-a-half hour marathon that was traumatic for everyone involved. Sheighla's face was swollen to the point that it didn't even look like her. It was that way for three days before it started to subside. Yesterday Greg removed the last half of the last tooth. That took two hours. The teeth were very bony and impacted. An oral surgeon would have charged us a fortune to have it done. For the most part, we are all recovered. Sheighla still has the normal healing and that will probably take about six months. Now she just has some swelling from yesterday's procedure.
So what did we do last week? Sheighla spent the first three days on the couch and, in sympathy, I watched movies and programs with her. I was pretty much worthless as far as doing anything productive. I wish I was able to conclude with something profound from the experience, but my cognitive powers are considerably lacking.
What IS exciting is the fact that Sheighla is one step closer to getting her missionary papers completed!
Sheighla has finally got all of her wisdom teeth removed. Greg Davis, in his never-ending kindness, said he would do it for us. He did it to help us in our financial situation. He knows our needs. It didn't turn out as he expected and the first trip was a ten-and-a-half hour marathon that was traumatic for everyone involved. Sheighla's face was swollen to the point that it didn't even look like her. It was that way for three days before it started to subside. Yesterday Greg removed the last half of the last tooth. That took two hours. The teeth were very bony and impacted. An oral surgeon would have charged us a fortune to have it done. For the most part, we are all recovered. Sheighla still has the normal healing and that will probably take about six months. Now she just has some swelling from yesterday's procedure.
So what did we do last week? Sheighla spent the first three days on the couch and, in sympathy, I watched movies and programs with her. I was pretty much worthless as far as doing anything productive. I wish I was able to conclude with something profound from the experience, but my cognitive powers are considerably lacking.
What IS exciting is the fact that Sheighla is one step closer to getting her missionary papers completed!
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Big Time Out
Okay. I took a bit of time off. Let's be honest and own up to the fact that I completely forgot that I had a blog and I was going to write about family history (which has come to a halt). Kaila, Chris, and Aeden came to visit. Chris came for about five days at the first of the month and Kaila just left today with Aeden. It was fun to have them visit and find I am missing them. Aeden is just like Eric at that age without the anger issues. He has two settings: still (when he is asleep) and running. I'm not sure he even knows how to just walk.
I really need to start doing family history again. I need a goal. I just don't know what goal to choose. So much needs to be done and I really don't know where to start. I believe I mentioned at one point that it is overwhelming. Well....that's the truth. I just took about fifteen seconds to think of a goal for this next week. Along with all the other projects I have going, I have decided to contact Terry and find out what he wants to have brought back to him. I'd love to keep some of the original documents in the nifty archive box I now have. But I certainly don't want all the stuff dad had.
But what really scares me, is the box of papers with Grandma's writing. There is absolutely no organization to any of it and I don't know if it should all be scanned and saved, or if part of it is sufficient. What will be interesting to everyone? Or, will anyone even be interested? It would be nice if it would magically arrange itself into a nice, neat notebook. Oh wait....that's my job. I said I would do it, and so I shall. I'll try to start on it tomorrow. And I say tomorrow because currently it is 11:12 pm. I just hope that when I finish with it that someone will appreciate it. One of my kids needs to get bitten by the genealogy bug and take an interest. Right now they are all busy with their families and lives. Been there. I know how it is.
I really need to start doing family history again. I need a goal. I just don't know what goal to choose. So much needs to be done and I really don't know where to start. I believe I mentioned at one point that it is overwhelming. Well....that's the truth. I just took about fifteen seconds to think of a goal for this next week. Along with all the other projects I have going, I have decided to contact Terry and find out what he wants to have brought back to him. I'd love to keep some of the original documents in the nifty archive box I now have. But I certainly don't want all the stuff dad had.
But what really scares me, is the box of papers with Grandma's writing. There is absolutely no organization to any of it and I don't know if it should all be scanned and saved, or if part of it is sufficient. What will be interesting to everyone? Or, will anyone even be interested? It would be nice if it would magically arrange itself into a nice, neat notebook. Oh wait....that's my job. I said I would do it, and so I shall. I'll try to start on it tomorrow. And I say tomorrow because currently it is 11:12 pm. I just hope that when I finish with it that someone will appreciate it. One of my kids needs to get bitten by the genealogy bug and take an interest. Right now they are all busy with their families and lives. Been there. I know how it is.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Some Time to Reflect
What happened to my drive for doing genealogy? Did I do too much all at once and burned out? I am finding it hard to get motivated to start again. I think it is mostly due to the nice weather we are having and all the work that needs to be done outside. There is a lot of inside work that also needs to be done, but that isn't as enjoyable as the outside work.
I've been trying to get the front flower bed weeded (or wedded, as Jari used to say). It is full of grass and it hasn't been trimmed since last year so the grass around it and the grass inside was over a foot tall and all in seed. I've worked on it for two days now. I work until my hands start aching. It is almost done and I'll probably finish it today. There is so much grass it has already filled a large black garbage bag. Once I get the job finished my hands won't ache as much at night. I'm also filling a bag of weeds each day from the never ending supply we have in back.
But yesterday morning I spent three hours outside on the flowerbed. I felt so tired the rest of the day and was moving slowly with everything I did. I was really ready for bed last night. I keep the front door open at night to let in the cooler air. About a quarter after four this morning I heard a man's voice. I thought Larry was talking on the phone with someone. Then I heard another voice and saw a flashlight through the slats in the living room windows. I wondered who was prowling around the house so I went to the door to find out what was happening. There were two police officers coming to the door as I opened it. They said they drove by and saw the door open. I said I leave it open for the air. Then they asked if I had heard any shots fired. I didn't hear anything until they came. I was sleeping very soundly. Apparently the neighbors two houses down and the ones behind reported hearing gunshots fired around three. They wondered if I had heard anything since the door was open. I apologized for not being able to help and they left. I also could not go back to sleep.
So...I thought about the kind of neighborhood we have lived in these last 23 years. There have been shootings, drugs, a meth lab, pedophiles, break-ins, vandalism, etc. We have been relatively free from anything negative. Someone broke into the house when we were gone on vacation one year and did a little damage and stole some minor things. We are pretty sure it was the kid across the street and some of his friends. But for the most part, that is all. We have been very blessed and protected considering the kind of area and what has happened here. I have no doubt the Lord has watched over this family. I am so grateful for that. It has been a request in every prayer and one that has been answered. The Lord hears and answers prayers. No doubt about it.
I've been trying to get the front flower bed weeded (or wedded, as Jari used to say). It is full of grass and it hasn't been trimmed since last year so the grass around it and the grass inside was over a foot tall and all in seed. I've worked on it for two days now. I work until my hands start aching. It is almost done and I'll probably finish it today. There is so much grass it has already filled a large black garbage bag. Once I get the job finished my hands won't ache as much at night. I'm also filling a bag of weeds each day from the never ending supply we have in back.
But yesterday morning I spent three hours outside on the flowerbed. I felt so tired the rest of the day and was moving slowly with everything I did. I was really ready for bed last night. I keep the front door open at night to let in the cooler air. About a quarter after four this morning I heard a man's voice. I thought Larry was talking on the phone with someone. Then I heard another voice and saw a flashlight through the slats in the living room windows. I wondered who was prowling around the house so I went to the door to find out what was happening. There were two police officers coming to the door as I opened it. They said they drove by and saw the door open. I said I leave it open for the air. Then they asked if I had heard any shots fired. I didn't hear anything until they came. I was sleeping very soundly. Apparently the neighbors two houses down and the ones behind reported hearing gunshots fired around three. They wondered if I had heard anything since the door was open. I apologized for not being able to help and they left. I also could not go back to sleep.
So...I thought about the kind of neighborhood we have lived in these last 23 years. There have been shootings, drugs, a meth lab, pedophiles, break-ins, vandalism, etc. We have been relatively free from anything negative. Someone broke into the house when we were gone on vacation one year and did a little damage and stole some minor things. We are pretty sure it was the kid across the street and some of his friends. But for the most part, that is all. We have been very blessed and protected considering the kind of area and what has happened here. I have no doubt the Lord has watched over this family. I am so grateful for that. It has been a request in every prayer and one that has been answered. The Lord hears and answers prayers. No doubt about it.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Redirecting My Focus
I've decided that blogging isn't all that easy to do. I have been fairly busy through the month of April and first week of May and didn't take time to write. I've done no work on family history or genealogy. I did get to visit with Jayna a couple of days this week and had fun with her. The first day she transfered her digital files to my laptop. The second day we went to the antique mall on Overland. Fun.
Now I just want to blog about something special I notice that has happened during the week. I'm more apt to write something. So, for this week the most special thing was spending time with Jayna.
For those who don't know her, she is my younger cousin. Jayna is one of those individuals that draw people to her. She is so fun and loving. She is VERY talented and has a master's degree in art from BYU. I would love to see her house someday and see all the neat stuff she has done. And she is always doing things for people.
Jayna has met with some difficult challenges in her life. She was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis a few years ago and was given up to five years to live. Then about a year and a half ago she was told she had stage four breast cancer and given the same time frame for living. She has had radiation therapy, chemotherapy, and other medication which has helped stop the advancement of the fibrosis and right now she has no active cancer cells. That can change quickly, but it enabled us to have a good time together.
Along with the medical challenges, Jayna has challenges with her family. None of her children remained active in the church. And each has brought to the table additional challenges for Jayna. At one time she had four of her adult children (along with spouses and children) living with her (and Steve). I don't know how she managed to stay sane. She was able to do it because of her loving nature and I know the Lord has blessed her for giving so much of herself.
It helps me recognize how greatly I am blessed with the wonderful kids I have and I love them so very much. Our problems are so minor in comparison. Currently all my children are active in the church. I have the most amazing, wonderful grandchildren. Even though I seldom see them, I am crazy about them. They are SO precious to me. Love you all!
Now I just want to blog about something special I notice that has happened during the week. I'm more apt to write something. So, for this week the most special thing was spending time with Jayna.
For those who don't know her, she is my younger cousin. Jayna is one of those individuals that draw people to her. She is so fun and loving. She is VERY talented and has a master's degree in art from BYU. I would love to see her house someday and see all the neat stuff she has done. And she is always doing things for people.
Jayna has met with some difficult challenges in her life. She was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis a few years ago and was given up to five years to live. Then about a year and a half ago she was told she had stage four breast cancer and given the same time frame for living. She has had radiation therapy, chemotherapy, and other medication which has helped stop the advancement of the fibrosis and right now she has no active cancer cells. That can change quickly, but it enabled us to have a good time together.
Along with the medical challenges, Jayna has challenges with her family. None of her children remained active in the church. And each has brought to the table additional challenges for Jayna. At one time she had four of her adult children (along with spouses and children) living with her (and Steve). I don't know how she managed to stay sane. She was able to do it because of her loving nature and I know the Lord has blessed her for giving so much of herself.
It helps me recognize how greatly I am blessed with the wonderful kids I have and I love them so very much. Our problems are so minor in comparison. Currently all my children are active in the church. I have the most amazing, wonderful grandchildren. Even though I seldom see them, I am crazy about them. They are SO precious to me. Love you all!
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Down Time
I did no work on genealogy this week. I am enjoying some time in Las Vegas with Fred and Jari and Charlotte and Rebecca.
AND, Hazel, who was just born on Thursday. She is beautiful with lots of very dark hair. I've had fun playing with Charlotte and decided that part of family history is creating memories for future generations. Not that Charlotte will remember me playing with her. Afterall, she is only two years old. But she is pretty sharp (as are ALL my grandchildren).
I like to imagine them remembering times I had tea parties with them, played soccer, watched their games and performances, made mud pies, etc. But they all live so very far from me and I don't have the opportunity to engage in those activities with them. Perhaps times have changed a little and the youth of today are more engaged in technology. I'm sunk. Sheighla is very reluctant to let me even use the remote control for the tv because she has to fix everything I do whenever I use it. But I know how to make mud pies. And I can kick a ball. And I know how to have a tea party. And I love to watch games and performances. And etc. Maybe I can have a white-glove tea party with my granddaughters using technology. And William, Weston, and Aeden are welcome to join (as long as they wear white gloves, too).
AND, Hazel, who was just born on Thursday. She is beautiful with lots of very dark hair. I've had fun playing with Charlotte and decided that part of family history is creating memories for future generations. Not that Charlotte will remember me playing with her. Afterall, she is only two years old. But she is pretty sharp (as are ALL my grandchildren).
I like to imagine them remembering times I had tea parties with them, played soccer, watched their games and performances, made mud pies, etc. But they all live so very far from me and I don't have the opportunity to engage in those activities with them. Perhaps times have changed a little and the youth of today are more engaged in technology. I'm sunk. Sheighla is very reluctant to let me even use the remote control for the tv because she has to fix everything I do whenever I use it. But I know how to make mud pies. And I can kick a ball. And I know how to have a tea party. And I love to watch games and performances. And etc. Maybe I can have a white-glove tea party with my granddaughters using technology. And William, Weston, and Aeden are welcome to join (as long as they wear white gloves, too).
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