Confessions and Sight

I hardly know where to start.  In fact, I've tried several times to start writing again, but always "chicken out".  I confess that I have a wee bit of a problem.  I hate to make mistakes and always want everything to be perfect.  I had a hard time in school turning in work that was less than perfect and it caused a great deal of stress and anxiety.  My grades reflected my imperfections and it was a hard fact to face.  I am not clever.  I don't write well.  My thoughts are unorganized.  And I'm very boring.  That said, I am going to forget trying to write about my journey in genealogy (which has almost come to a standstill) and focus on things that touch my heart.  I want to express more gratitude for my blessings and things that bring me joy. 

I don't want to just make a gratitude list.  That is too general.  My whole life has been too general.  I don't notice detail or specifics.  It is hard for me to see beyond the surface of anything.  Memorizing facts and information was easy for me.  I could easily answer multiple choice questions and fill-in-the-blank, but froze on the essay questions.  Don't ask me thought provoking questions.  That requires too much brain activity.  That's painful.  It is time...way beyond time... to start noticing what is beyond the surface.

Now my blog is just going to be me trying to express what I see and feel and try to start seeing what I have missed all these years.  And I will start with being able to see.  I had an eye exam on Monday.  It is the first one in years and nothing has been in focus. (Here is a good place to wax philosophical).  It so happens that both my distance and close vision need a big adjustment.  New glasses are on order and will be here this month.  I so look forward to being able to see clearly again.  The good news to me is that my eyes are healthy.  I work for a lady that has macular degeneration and is unable to do just about anything.  Noticing what life is like for her now has helped me more than ever to appreciate the gift of sight.  I love that my eyes can see.  They are marvelous organs.